The impact of parental influence on life
How early influences shaped my journey as a musician
No Violin! Mom’s Orders!
At 8 years old, I found myself taking exams for music school—without a clue about musical instruments. My family wasn’t made up of musicians, and the music that filled our home was mostly kids’ songs or rock and pop.
It might seem like an accidental choice, but when I look back, there were key moments and conversations that shaped the path I took toward becoming a flutist. This wasn’t just luck; it was a series of small influences that pushed me in this direction.
Singing was what I loved from the beginning of my life! I loved to watch a TV show where children were singing songs of Polish stars and singing with them. My teacher in kindergarten noticed that I had musical predispositions because I was singing a lot and putting on performances. 😅
Fast forward to music school entrance exams. My mom? She begged me: “Please, not the violin!” She was terrified. Imagine the ear-splitting sounds echoing from music schools... Yeah, she didn’t want that in our house. So, at eight years old, I knew one thing: the violin was off-limits. Couldn’t do that to my mom.
Playing the flute will make you a star ⭐️
In my Grandma’s vision 👵🏻
I also have a memory of sitting in the garden with my grandma, talking about the world of music.
She told me, “Kasia, if you become a musician, you’ll travel the world! Choose a good instrument, one that will make you a star, one that will let you shine!” 😉
It’s true—flutes do shine a lot!
And let’s not forget, flute stars love to polish their instruments before and during recitals, making sure they shine like diamonds!
But it was her promise of traveling the world that finally convinced me to begin my musical journey.
Exam to music school 👩🏫
Since I had never had close contact with any instruments before, the day of my first exam was incredibly exciting.
I had to sing my favorite song, repeat rhythms, and identify whether the chord was happy or sad.
After successfully completing these tasks, the most important part came: choosing the instrument!
At the time, I had no idea that this decision would truly, REALLY shape the course of my life.
Why did I eventually choose the flute? 🤔
The last moment that really helped me choose the flute was in a classroom on the ground floor of the music school.
I was introduced to teachers of different instruments, and they showed me their instruments. I avoided the violin, mentally prepared by my mom!
Other instruments, like the clarinet, accordion, or guitar, I didn’t know very well, so I wasn’t sure. I didn’t like them, either sonically or visually, I guess. 😄
Then I saw the flute.
It was so different from the flute I had imagined. I guess that, as an 8-year-old child, I associated the word “flute” with the recorder. I had never seen anything so shiny! And the way to play... So different, transverse! The sound? Magical! Like something from a fairy tale—so colorful and rich.
My future teacher checked my fingers and told me that I would find happiness playing this magical instrument. I believed her! And I chose it without hesitation.
I remember that the other teachers congratulated my future professor. She was very proud that she had convinced me to join her class. And she was right! She encouraged me to play the flute so quickly! 🎉
Do I regret choosing flute? 😓
There are a lot of issues surrounding my adventure with the flute that, at times, made me completely immersed in it, and at other times, made me question if I had chosen the right life path.
But this was rarely about the flute as an instrument itself.
I’ve always loved playing it, and I’ve enjoyed my musical journey. There was a moment in my life when I thought about singing, but in the end, I stuck with playing.
I figured that I could always learn to sing, but maintaining technical progress on an instrument is more complicated and takes much more time.
However, sometimes I regret not choosing the violin as my first instrument. 🎻
I think the violin would have suited me better in terms of expression and repertoire. Could I have been happier as a violinist?
A journey of musical regrets and discoveries
If I could choose nowadays, I would probably go for the violin!
I really like the sound, the repertoire, and the expressive movement this instrument requires.
Examples? Stiff, blocked flute hands and the way flutists are restricted in their upper body movements. When flutists move a lot, the movement doesn’t appeal to me, while violinists almost dance on stage, and I enjoy the performance. Additionally, I don't like the stiff facial expressions that are characteristic of all wind instruments. Violinists are free to smile. 🙂
The flute has the advantage of having a warm, round, beautiful sound and being very versatile. Moreover, flutes are just so beautiful, and I love pressing the keys. Being a flutist in the orchestra gives you more opportunities to be a star and get more attention (there are only two or three flutes in an orchestra, while there are many violinists). However, you may have fewer job opportunities. 😅
I like the repertoire of both instruments, with the advantage of the violin having more use of lively, folkloric, or highland melodies, which I love when used in classical music. Sometimes, the violin sounds sharper and more aggressive, and I feel like my artistic expression really connects with that. The flute is more romantic and ephemeral.
I can’t say for sure if I would be a happier violinist than flutist, but I have had moments of regret.
Thankfully, today I’m able and free to learn this instrument as an adult and finally know what I may have possibly missed. 😝
For sure, it would have meant a lot of hours sounding like fingernails on a chalkboard or an old creaky closet door 😅🎻.
What’s funny is that my mom is still skeptical about me learning the violin, even though I live far away and no longer torture her with those early learning sounds!
Advices for parents
If my mom hadn’t discouraged me from choosing the violin before the exams, maybe today I would be a virtuoso of the instrument of my dreams.
I decided to learn the violin later in life, but why it happened this way will be revealed in the following articles.
What can we learn from my story?
Below are some tips for helping your child choose an instrument:
Explain what an instrument is and show them pictures of different instrument families.
Listen to the sounds of various instruments and ask your child which ones they like.
Watch videos with your child (solo performances, bands, or orchestras) and ask which instrument they would like to see on stage with. They may even surprise you and want to become a conductor! 😁
If your child changes their mind and wants to try a different instrument, give them the chance to explore. After all, music should always be fun first and foremost.
Don’t discourage your child from any instrument or impose stereotypes like “it’s too difficult” or “it sounds bad when you're learning.”
Even if your child picks an instrument you don’t particularly like, be happy for them if they enjoy playing it.
Above all, make sure your child has the opportunity to make a conscious decision in choosing their instrument.
Is never too late! 🎵
I don’t blame my mom for influencing me away from the violin because, in the end, I’m a very happy flutist. I’m grateful to my parents for letting me step into the beautiful world of music.
My life has been so colorful, and I’ve had many amazing adventures thanks to music. No matter what happens in life, I will always have my music and my instruments—they will never leave me. This sense of security I have as a musician is priceless. I always have my own world, where I can play, listen, and truly understand music, which brings me so much joy.
I have never regretted becoming a musician.
I love this journey, and I was so happy learning and studying music. I’m fulfilled as a flutist, and I really enjoy playing the piano, too. Learning the violin also helped me discover my singing abilities, which brings me great joy.
It’s never too late!
See you next week.
