Why do we compare ourselves to others?
5 facts that can impact your happiness
This is the first article in a series where I will talk about why we compare ourselves to others and how this affects our feelings, thoughts, and daily lives.
Who among us hasn’t felt a lump in our throat when a friend shares another professional success on social media?
For musicians, it could be joining the philharmonic, releasing a new album, landing a new role, or winning a competition. We think, “Wow, they did it!” While we should feel happy for them, it’s natural to reflect and wonder—especially if they’re in a position we desire.
Thoughts like, “Why don’t I have the same success?” can lead to uncomfortable comparisons.
But the real question is—why?
In general, we compare ourselves to others because we are trying to validate whether we are doing well or not.
In music we use to observe our peers, teachers, or idols and we compare whether we are equal, better, or worse than them.
Comparison is defined by Cambridge dictionary as being:
The fact of considering something similar or of equal quality to something else
In fact, it is a lot more complicated than that. Comparison is a subject that has been studied for many years, and the social psychologist Leon Festinger was the first to propose the theory of social comparison in 19541.
In some cases the comparison with others may be positive because it can motivate us to strive to match or excel our idols. But in many cases comparison can be harmful. This happens especially when we stop just comparing and start suffering if we notice that someone seems superior to us, or in the worst case, someone who seems inferior reaches positions superior to ours. 😵
If you relate to this, don’t worry—you’re not alone! Feelings like these are more natural than you might think.
In my next article, I’ll share five key facts that can affect your happiness when comparing yourself to others. Subscribe to this newsletter so you don’t miss any updates!
See you next week.
Saltzberl, Judy et al. “Theory and Research Concerning Social Comparisons of Personal Attributes.” (2001).